You know how you go into a public rest room and the integrity of every stall has been compromised so you have to pick the least disgusting one? That's how I feel about dating......

So Kalyn and I decided to go on an adventure into the unknown realm of speed dating, and I am talking about the epically classic girl-sits-down-and-boy-changes-tables-every-five-minutes scenario. We did a little hunting, found a business in the city that does this and signed up for the event.  How it works is that you go to the event, meet with some guys (in this case I met 20 different guys) and after 4 minutes, they change tables.  After the event, the people email you a link where you go on and say if you are interested in a guy or not and if you are, and the guy is interested in you, the company will tell you and you go from there.  The venue was actually pretty nice - we were in our own little room in a restaurant and it had a relaxing atmosphere to it.  We met a little bit ahead of time to have a drink or two for some liquid courage, got our name tags and sheet to write down names and information and then sat at our tables and waited for the shitshow to begin. 

First off, 4 minutes can seem like forever or like 30 seconds, depending on the person.  However, I think that somewhere along the lines, they started speeding up the 4 minutes as I was not the only one thinking they were going faster, and not in a "connected" sense.  Right when you were getting into the good part of the conversation, the bell would ring.  A couple of guys actually lingered to keep talking, which kind of felt nice hahaha.  Some guys were big into the high-five's - there was one guy that I kind of watched and he would high-five the girl almost every time.  I got a high-five from him, I can't remember what I said to illicit it from him.  I learnt that in that type of environment, there is no room for shyness or it is awkward to sit there in 4 minutes of silence or forced conversation, but also arrogance can dominate easily in 4 minutes.  Eye contact was kind of interesting to observe - I was wearing a top where you couldn't see my cleavage, I was quite well covered up, but I still saw guys looking down at my breasts.  Some would maintain eye contact and never break it, others would not keep it at all.  And the questions - I was trying to come up with unique, out of the ordinary questions to ask as I mean, come on, meeting over 20 people, repetitive questions are going to be the death of people.  Sadly, most of these men were not that creative.  I think almost every guy asked me "where are you from?" and "what do you like to do for fun?" and with only having 4 minutes, that is the conversation.  I would try to ask the first question, something like 'what adjective would you use to describe yourself' or 'are you a sports fan'.  Something out of the box.  One person said he heard a hint of a Canadian accent, after learning that I was from Canada.  And I would highly suggest for anyone thinking of doing this, do not drink 2 pots of tea beforehand because if you do have a break inbetween boys, 4 minutes (or their version of 4 minutes) is not long enough to get to the bathroom and back refreshed.....just a head's up........So, come along the ride with me as I describe some of the people I met during my night of speed dating - all of their names have been changed for anonymity sake. 

First up, and what a way to start the evening off, was Accent Boy.  I asked him where he was from and he got me to guess, and I guessed Scotland.  He said I was right, but that he could also do an Australian and an American accent.  He has the ability to change it whenever he wants to.  Right.  Made me think of Frank Abagnale Jr. which is not a good thought when trying to select a potential mate for a relationship. 

Then came Sigh Boy.  I think in the 4 minutes were were talking, he sighed about, oh, 17 times, at least that is how many ticks I marked down.  He was late because 10th street was closed and he had to go all the way around (when I asked him about just hopping over the barricade and walking down the street, he looked at me like I asked him about shooting a room full of grandma's or something) and then he wasn't even going to make it to the event because he just wasn't feeling into it but then he thought he should . . . I started playing Mahna Mahna in my head by this time.  This is why I do not want to counsel people.....hahaha. 

Oohhh next up is Porsche Guy.  Now, admittedly, Kalyn and I saw him when he first came into the room to sign up and then watched him go to his car - a Porsche.  He was probably the hottest guy we saw there as of yet, so we were pretty excited.  Up close and personal, however, not so much.  It was disappointing.  Thankfully I could hold a conversation with him around the book called The Game by Neil Strauss (http://www.amazon.ca/The-Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/0060554738).  And he snowboarded, so he actually enjoys being around snow.  But he seemed like he was trying way too hard to look, act and be cool. 

 

Suit Boy sits down and just looks at me, so I start the conversation, asking how his day has been going. He was very hard to talk with and very serious. And would just stare at me. Almost like 'impress me. You aren't impressing me'. 

 

Question Boy soon got to my table.  I was watching him while he was going around the tables as there wasn't enough men to women so every once in a while, I would have no boy at my table and I would be able to people and behavior watch, and this boy, he was quite fun to watch and converse with.  It was like he had a list of questions he had to get out in those 4 minutes - he would start to ask a question and when I would respond, even before I had finished my answer, he was onto the next one.  And questions like 'are you close to your family' 'what are your ambitions' 'what is your favorite color'.  They were crazy. 

Marriage Boy was quite funny - I am still on the ropes with him as he may be a little too intense for me, but maybe it was nerves.  I don't know.  He asked me how I would describe myself, so I used my never failing, usually conversation invoking answer of Fearless.  He liked it.  He then told me to go more into it, and I quoted him Dr. Suess.  He also liked that (in fact, he said he was going to google the quote - not sure if he believed me or wanted to verify it, I don't know).  He then proceeded to tell me that I was the coolest chick he met there.  Score one for me.  So then I ask him what his word would be, and he says honourable.  As in 'when I look you in the eye and shake your hand, I will do what I said I would do'.  He is driven, knows what he wants, is ready to settle down, he *is* 28 after all and has all his shit in order.  That's when the marriage mentality started to show its colors I think. 

The last guy was probably the best.  "Triple Threat" boy.  I was kind of hoping he wouldn't want to sit down as the event was done, but he had wanted to meet all the women there, so when he asked if he could talk, I did not want to say no.  I should have said no.  All this guy wanted to do was talk about his accomplishments - he was in a movie (he never told me the name of it), he is an artist and likes collecting pieces and he is a wonderful cook.  So, his ambitions - to be in more movies and become famous and get "Emmys" (I didn't correct him that Emmys weren't for movies), he wanted to open his own art gallery with his own pieces in it and open a restaurant that will be filled with reservations for months on end.  He dubbed himself a "triple threat".  Does he have a ambitions and dreams? Absolutely!!!  Did it attract me? Not at all.

Out of the evening there were a couple of good ones that sat down.  There was one who used to live in Memphis and when he saw my Elvis purse, well that dictated the conversation for the most part.  He is also a lawyer, so when I told him I used to be a legal assistant, he apologized for all the rude and mean lawyers I ever had to work with hahaha.  Then another guy who liked sports and penguins.  Another one who was in psychology as well and just seemed so sweet and young in a way.   Probably out of the 20 there, I will say that I would be interested in about 4 or 5 of them.  The rest were not my type at all.  However, I will probably go to another one because it is fun and exciting and something different to do.  Who knows, maybe one time I will meet a guy who likes going to the zoo, can cook, will listen to me talk about my school and watch Disney movies with me and knows how to country dance and is taller than me and doesn't smoke and has a job, a car and lives close to me and is happy with life........buuuuuuuut I am not holding my breath. 

What would your story be?

A song that is perfect for this theme for your listening pleasure:  song got famous after being aired on Grey's Anatomy Be warned - this blog is more on the pensive/serious side of the spectrum.  Maybe my old age is finally catching up to me........hahaha

So, for school, instead of writing a huge exam or having to do a dissertation/paper/thesis, we need to do work experience, which is awesome because it is hands on and is exactly what I want to do, but I never thought of the process of obtaining that experience.  When I went for my Legal Assistant Diploma, we had to do a practicum but I don't remember the process being this stressful or intense.  I was "cleared" to send out my resume to nine different practicum sites and each one needed its own cover letter.  I tell ya, I wanted to smash my head through a glass window every time I sat down to write one of those.  In one paragraph, I had to somehow tell the company about my experience and how I would benefit that company - what I would do for them.  I am not that good at talking myself up to begin with and to do it in one paragraph is freaking intense and stressful.  I wish I could have just written in the letter that I have experience working with difficult people, I can portray professionalism and I will benefit your company by just being myself as that tends to work just fine.  Oh quote Pooh as he seems to have the answer for everything.  It got me thinking though about myself, who I was, what I was doing, stuff like that.  Although this will sound very morbid, if you had to right your own eulogy, what would it say?  What would you want people to know about you? 

Kalyn and I went to the Portrait Gallery on the weekend and it was kind of funny as there was an exhibit of Ben Durham who does text portraits.  He got mug shots of childhood friends and their arrest records and drew a picture from text, a recounting of everything he could remember or have been told about that person.  They were really interesting (the picture is a picture of the painting that is made out of words).  When you got up close and personal to the picture, you could see the writing - lots of it wasn't legible but you could see letters and words.  It was such a unique was of creating a picture that it got me thinking again about a person's story and what makes up their past and present.  There was another exhibit where the paintings were based off of automythography, which is the process of identity formation that combines the real with the self-invented.  So here is another question for you to ponder - what would be your version of automythography? What would it look like? 

 

On a brighter note, instead of doing something American, I had an Indian experience.  The group of us girls went to an Indian Restaurant called Zaika and man it was so good.  Thankfully we had Riya (we probably would not have been there if she did not come to begin with since she spearheaded the outing) to order the food and get us the VIP treatment.  We had Aloo Papdi Chaat and Vegetable Samosas for appetizers, Chicken Tikka Masala, Paneer Makhani and Naan for entrees and Mango Kulfi and Kheer for dessert.  Such good food.  Definitely going back there again.  The waiters made sure we were always doing good, the manager kept coming by our table and even the owner came over to make sure we were doing good.  Beyond great service and food.  A very wonderful experience and outing with the girls.