Why are we running? Cause this is a marathon!!! It isn't a marathon, it's a race!

Summer is here - I am burnt already, tulips are up and blooming, grass and trees are super green and the heat is too hot.  This is going to be an interesting summer, but hopefully, and for once, I can actually get a tan and not be all pasty white and blind people.....

The Cherry Blossom festival was the first week in April and it was nice, but disappointing.  April 6th was supposed to be prime day for cherry blossom blooming but alas, since we had some "cool" weather before the weekend (and I use the term "cool" loosely) the blossoms were not bloomyfull.  There were two trees that people were congregating around to take pictures and it was pretty funny (reminded me of being at the zoo and everybody running to see the animal move).  The two trees were quite beautiful, but sadly, I wasn't able to head down to the Tidal Basin when they were all out in full bloom, so next year I will have to try and take more in.  So part of the Cherry Blossom festivities was paddleboating in the Tidal Basin and then catching the fireworks at night.  Paddleboating was quite fun - it was Kalyn's first time and luckily/unluckily she got stuck with paddling with me hahaha.  I have never been in a paddleboat that didn't have the ring for a steering wheel so I didn't even attempt to steer, and Kalyn tried to, but sadly, we couldn't figure it out.  Steph, oh captain my captain, was sitting in the backseat and did some steering for us.  She was the epitome of backseat driving hahaha.  For a bit there, we actually paddled backwards so that Steph could steer and not hit people.  When we were coming back to the dock, we had to pull some Mario Andretti moves as there was a traffic jam of paddleboats.  It was pretty fun overall.  Just sitting in the middle of the Tidal Basin and talking with the girls, gently floating and looking around at everything was so relaxing and serene and something we all needed.  After the paddleboating, it was food adventure.  I think we spent over an hour in line for pizza hahaha.  There were people everywhere and in each line and it was nuts.  It was reminiscent to Inauguration Day so I had a small PTSD moment hahaha. After foods, it was fireworks and they were amazing.  I love fireworks, and seeing them over the water was just beautiful.   A wonderful day overall with such wonderful company. 

Last weekend, and the weekend that gave me my sunburn, was the DC Challenge.  It is Amazing Race style - we got 12 clues (only had to do 11 of them) and figure out the fastest way to get to each clue and back.  For 6 people who have never lived in DC before, we found our way around pretty good (thank god for google maps hahaha).  The days leading up to the challenge we were talking about how we were going to run the whole thing, who was going to be on map duty, googling duty, etc etc and our plans worked out, for the most part - we did not run the entire thing suffice it to say.  There were over 415 teams there, so no clue on how many people were there in total and we placed 184th with a time of 2:42:53.  Our team's name was Reservoir-dire Dogs (yours truly was Ms. Blonde).  In the very beginning, we decided to run to the places where we had to do the clues, but after running to the first spot, we talked the rest of the way hahaha.  However, we did not take the metro once, except to get back to the finish line, so we were quite proud of ourselves when doing that.  When we were at one of the clues, there was a girl who wanted to take our picture.  Not sure if it was because she understood our theme or just wanted to take a picture of some crazy people.  Some of the clues/tasks were as follows:

• Find the bright red sculpture beside Cubi XXVI and pose like the sculpture in the photo (I think this was our most creative picture)
• Take a photo with anyone with a badge and convince them to act out Charlies Angels with our whole team
• find Lincoln's 1868 statute and act out a scene from his life
• hula hoop at the Capitol Reflecting Pool (FYI - I don't ever remember actually hula hooping when I was younger so I did not do well at this task - Meghan was freaking awesome at it!!!)
• snap a photo of team in a pirate battle (for some reason, I was the one getting attacked)
• find the wall of geyers
• take a picture with either a clown (no dice), a traditional barber pole, a person wearing overalls, a duck boat or a cast of triceratops' head (this is the one we did)

There were so many teams in costumes that were awesome - zombie presidents, minions, Disney princesses, superheros, gladiators.  I wonder what people thought around the city, seeing all of us taking silly pictures and in costumes.  I think we are going to make it a yearly thing and maybe as the years go on, we will get better as we will know where things are/how to get there faster. 

Life in DC has not been boring whatsoever - between the whitehouse getting taped off due to "water main break" (they need to come up with a different story) after the Boston bombing, a twitter hacking advising that Obama has been injured, bomb/drug sniffing dogs at the metro stations, a shooting at the metro station I get off at and an unattended item at the station this morning.  I love the excitement of living here, but kind of miss the safety of Canada hahaha.  Although, I almost went "American" on some chick as I went to Catholic U to work on my paper for school and some chick spilt her coffee on my laptop and fried it - the keyboard needed to be replaced and now apparently the

motherboard as well.  I was too busy trying to soak up the liquid to not yell at her, especially after all she did was pick up her coffee and walked away.  This is not a good time to be laptopless especially with all my papers and presentations and finals and trying to plan a Calgary trip and post blogs.....so suffice it to say, I have been living at the school to use their computers.  I can tell you this though - living with no laptop is both super relaxing and uber stressful - I have been able to have super long baths (the kind where you refill the tub with hot water), getting some books read, worked on my scrapbook, things like that.  It is pretty funny though that I have not touched my cross stitch this entire time being laptopless.  I am really hoping that I get my laptop back this week sometime, preferably tomorrow as I have two "take home" exams due Thursday.  However, this Thursday is the last day of classes for this semester and then it is all done!!  I have about a month off in May before my summer semester starts and it will be a busy month - my mom and sister are coming down here to view *my* city and then I am heading up to Calgary for a week to see friends and family as well.  I have been here for too long and need to get up home to get some Canadianness back into me, especially since some of my family members have been saying that I am starting to sound American.....not good.....not good at all hahaha. 

I have secured a practicum placement as well!!!!  It is at the Department of Corrections, which should be interesting.  I want to work with the prison population, but being there scared the living bejesus outta me hahaha.  I am going to have to change my entire demeanour when working there.  I will never forget my interview though as I went up to reception and said "Hi, I'm here to see Guy" "Who?" "Guy" "What guy?" "His name is Guy" "What is his name?" I was about to break out in a Who's on First or A Meewho and an Exactlywhat skit, but didn't think they would find the humour in that hahaha.  Thankfully I have a placement for September so that stress has been lifted woohoo!!!  Now hopefully the quiet, white Canadian can toughen up to work with the prison population hahaha. It is both exciting and scary all at the same time so I guess I will see what happens come September.  It isn't with the population that I initially wanted to work with, but it is a placement nonetheless and I will take what I can get, especially since I was running into walls being Canadian and having some sites tell me that I was not eligible because I wasn't American. 

 

Anywho, I should probably get to studying for the 3 exams I have this week.  I am in that end-of-the-semester-slump where I don't feel like doing anything anymore but just need to push through 3 more things and then this semester from hell can be over.  I miss and love you all!!

Nothing says Easter than watching girls beat each other and riding the metro to go pick up keys from a stripper......

Oh boy.....I can't remember what I have been doing these past couple of weeks so bare with me on this. Time seems to be going in both a blur and in slow motion, and it doesn't help to have a memory like mine.  And to make matters worse, my phone, even though it says to keep my appointments forever, every so often will delete my past calendar entries.... All I can say is this:  I have not done as much touristy stuff as I should/want to be, and that will not be changing in the near future as I am getting down to the grindstone for school which means I am going to turn into a stressful recluse.  However, we warned as this is fairly long posting as even though I haven't done any touristy things lately, the past week and Easter have been eventful. 

So, Riya being a sports lover like me, albeit soccer, she wonderfully told me that the LA Kings and LA Galaxy were making their appearance at the White House, so the the plan was set in motion - we would camp out at the front lawn a couple of hours before the whole shindig started to get a glimpse of them entering the White House.  However, there are two lawns - the North and South Lawn so we had a 50-50 chance of being at the right law.  Sadly, I think we picked the wrong lawn to wait at as eventually we had to double time it to the South lawn (the White House is pretty big so to get to the South lawn was about 4 - 5 blocks away hahaha).   We were able to get up to the gate though and get some pretty good pictures.  It was pretty funny though as every time we thought we saw a bus coming down the road, or heard a siren/escort, Riya would start to get all excited, thus making my excitement level escalated.  I mean, I was going to see some Canadian hockey players.....I was going to hold myself back somehow if we were going to be in arm's distance from them hahaha.  It was a pretty fun morning/afternoon though camping out.  I did learn that if the guard in front of the West Wing has white gloves on, it means that either the President or Vice President is in there.  But then we got to thinking - this doesn't make sense for public knowledge as it increases the potential risk for an attempt on the President or Vice President......so maybe it is just a ploy for people to think.  I also think that my conspiracy mind has increased as they give us way too much knowledge about where the President is, etc etc. 

As a stress relief from school, we have decided to start heading to trivia nights on Tuesday night after class.  It is reminiscent of me playing Name that Tune, Kalyn playing trivia and Stephanie having her book club - basically something that we can do weekly to get us out of school mode and have fun one night.  We have gone two times now (the start of something wonderful) and the nights were total opposites hahaha.  The first night, we learnt that we should not go when it is Easter as we know nothing about Easter (sadly I have repressed everything I learnt in elementary classes for religion), do not go when it is March Madness as none of us are basketball fans and that The Canadian (ie Me) is needed for the odd Canadian question.  The Canadian question you ask - what is the official sport of Canada.  Most everyone said hockey - silly Americans.....hahaha.  The second night we go, we learnt that we need to brush up on popular culture as one theme was Game of Thrones, which we don't watch, and of course, The Final Four for March Madness.  And a potential Canadian question did not bode well for me as I could not remember (and I apologize to Madame Fraser and Madame Venance) for not remembering what the accent is called to soften the 'c'.  We epically failed the second night we went, but it was still fun. 

Easter just passed and us people who didn't have a home to go to decided to head over to Meg's for supper as she offered to cook us some dinner.  First, before Meg's, Kalyn and I decided to go check out some Rollerderby, cause nothing says Easter than girls beating the crap outta each other......It was pretty fun and exciting once we were able to see the scoreboard and actually watch the game (the people in front of us were enthusiastic fans).  We have decided that we want to try out next year, so first off we will need to find some roller skates as I have only ever rollerbladed.  Secondly, we need to find people who are willing to dress up like the Marshmallow Man who will try to stop us from passing them.  Thirdly, we will then skate around the Tidal Basin, trying to dodge the random passerbyers and not fall in......sounds infallible our plans.  Oh, finally, and in the process of all of this, we need to pick out epic names.  My role model's name is Stabigail Adams....how awesome is that!!!!  And then there is Vicious Von Doom, Ivana Tripabitch, the names are awesome.  We are definitely going back to watch more games. 

 

So now enter Easter Sunday.  Firstly, I decided to head to Sunday Mass as I figured I should keep up my tradition of Christmas and Easter mass and holy crow, it was an amazing experience.  Mass was at noon and I figured I would get there around 11:15 to get a good pew and whatnot, but sadly, there was a mass at 10:30 so I didn't get in right away.  It was like the running of the bulls when Mass was let out - people trying to get into the Basilica, people trying to get out, people taking pictures - mayhem at its finest.  Thankfully I was able to sneak in and find a good spot for the event; people were standing basically everywhere and packed in there.  The choir was amazing to listen to as they were singing in Latin (I thought I was in something like the Angels & Demons/DaVinci Code score as it was just awe inspiring to listen to) and the music was so powerful with the organs and french horns, trumpets, the whole works.  The Cardinal/Archbishop of Washington was there as well to give the homily.  I wonder what Christmas would be like as this was crazy insane and very powerful.  Leaving the Basilica, they had the bells going and I just stood outside, listening to them, thankful that I had the opportunity to experience something like this.  My pictures are a little blurry/fuzzy as I took them with my phone as I didn't think it would be appropriate to take pictures while there for a Mass.....apparently I was a minority in this thinking as lots of people had their cameras and were taking pictures through Mass hahaha. 

So now enter Easter Sunday supper at Meg's.  This is how it went down - I left my house for the 50ish minute metro ride.  I get a stop or two away from her stop and I get a text from her, saying to not leave the platform as we (Meg, Colleen and I) will be heading back to downtown.  I ask why.  This was the text I got (never prepared myself for this):  Get Colleen's keys from the male stripper.  Now you know the rest of the evening is going to be fun....hahaha.  At this time, I am getting close to starving as well as a headache from the metro ride.  So we go downtown, Colleen gets the keys from the stripper, and we wait for the next metro to arrive (20 minutes).  Now I am starving, Colleen is starving and Meg is feeling like death.  As it is Easter Sunday, the food court is closed, MacDonald's is closed, everything is closed.  And we have another 45 minuteish metro ride back to Meg's place.  So we get there and Kalyn shows up.  The ham is done, so that is course 1.  The herby buns are done, so that is course 2.  The brownies are done next, that is course 3.  Then the brussel sprouts shortly follow, that is course 4.  Then we have about an hour and 20 minutes wait for the potatoes to be done so we use that time to decorate the eggs....time well used.  We got to see Dewey (Colleen's dog) and Lars (Meg's hedgehog) meet each other.  It was a wonderfully, eventful Easter Sunday. 

So with the end of school arriving, means the panic of the teachers getting everything in and done.  On top of all of that, we have the practicum stress.  I am waiting to hear back on three places that I had an interview at (one of them I don't think will be good as the public transportation to get out to the site is the same bus that the inmates take.....sounds fun and not sketchy......right....) And at the other interview, that I am pretty sure I bombed, one of the round of questions was about scenario type of questions, which I hate, but one of them was:  if a client started masturbating in front of you, what would you do? Seriously.....what kind of question is that.  I would hope that with experience and training I would be able to answer that question but not when I have never been in contact with people in a psychological setting.  It feels like we are set up to fail right from the get go.  I dislike it all.  As it stands - I am interviewless, waiting to hear back from 3, and not having a positive, bright future with it all.  Things are looking swell hahaha.  But I keep thinking positive and wishing/hoping/knowing that I will be getting an offer from a placement before the next semester.  So lets hope that will be the case. 

 

Oh, one last thing - I started a grass league for volleyball this past Wednesday and I have learnt a couple of things: 1) don't try to put contacts in when it is windy; 2) don't dive on a grassy, hilly, rocky ground and 3) be prepared to get weird looks when I am the only person in a tank top when everybody else is in hoodies and jackets. It will be a fun league though so that will be good to curb the stressfulness of school. 

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter with family and friends!!!  Regardless of the school piled up and stress mounting, I hope to get some touristy things in.  This weekend is the Cherry Blossom Festival so that should be fun and exciting.  I miss and love you all!!!!!

Why does the White House make me think like a terrorist? (I am not saying I am one.....please don't deport me Government if you are reading this.....)

Spring break has come and gone.  St. Paddy's Day has come and gone.  Easter is just around the corner.  Time sure is flying.  I can't believe I have been here for 7 months.  I am not looking forward to summer here as when I moved last August, I was super grumpy because it was so flipping hot (with the humidity we were up in the 40s Celsius - I refuse to convert to Fahrenheit hahaha).  I am at a cross roads for my touristy things as many things I want to see outside but right now, there are no leaves on the trees and I want to wait until the cherry blossoms are out in full bloom, but if I wait until then, then it will be too hot for me to want to be outside and will want to do all the museums as they are air conditioned, but then I will not see all the outside things.  Oh such a conundrum I am facing.  The cherry blossoms are starting to bloom though, and the National Cherry Blossom Festival is about to start, so that must mean that spring is around the corner. 

I have to admit that this city is slightly ridiculous when it comes to the weather - we were supposed to get "one of the worst snow storms in the history of Washington", so of course everyone panics - grocery stores are bought out, people are getting into their bomb shelters, etc etc.  The day of the impending doom storm, schools are shut down, government offices are closed and the metro is on stand by for the weather.  What ends up happening?  In my area, I get maybe a centimeter of snow, if that.  It wasn't cold enough to stick so when it came down, it stayed for a couple of minutes and then started melting.  The next day?  Nothing was on the ground and it was gorgeous and sunny out.  I do not think that the weather people know what they are doing around here.  Here is a picture of the snow when it was coming down - the flakes were pretty huge so I was pretty excited that we might actually get something, but I was let down by the weather gods *shakes fist - damn you weather gods*

I had this wonderful plan of trying to get done a lot of touristy things during spring break, but I think my mind decided to take its own spring break and just not work and be uber lazy.  I have a paper due tomorrow (Tuesday) and I still have to finish it.  I wanted to get a lot of my cross stitching done but I hardly touched it.  Yet, I have no clue what I did this past week that took up all of my time hahaha.  One thing that I did end up doing was to go see Lincoln at night - I have not even seen him during the day, but at night, he is quite a sight.  We passed the WWII Memorial but since the fountains were not working, I did not want to stop and look at it - I would like the full effect.  Kind of demanding that way, I know.  Walking alongside the Reflecting Pool when the sun was setting was so gorgeous and serene and peaceful.  Get up to Lincoln and he is magnificent.  One one side is his ever-so-famous "Four score and seven years ago" speech and on the other side is his Emancipation Proclamation speech.  Such an eloquent fella he was.  After, we just sat on the steps, overlooking the Pool and seeing the Capitol and the Washington Monument - it was an unreal feeling to be sitting there, knowing that Martin Luther King did his I Have A Dream speech right there, that Forrest Gump was filmed right there, being able to see first hand the things we see in pictures and movies.  That is when we came up with a wonderful idea - as I am slightly paranoid of doing things that may cause me to be deported, but yet I still think of doing some times, I want to drink with Lincoln, but getting an open alcohol/public intoxication ticket does not really appeal to me if it will cause me getting deported, so we decided that on the day of our graduation, we are going to get all dolled up and fancy and go drink with Lincoln to celebrate our graduation.  And be one of the best photo op's in the history of TCSPP. 

 

When I first moved here, okay not exactly "first", but at some point in time, I was looking into getting a tour of the White House, but on the Canadian Embassy webpage, it said that there were no tours allowed for Canadians/Immigrants/Internationals/Hosers/whatever we are called.  So, I do some googling to see how else I can circumvent this little speed bump and get into the White House legally.  Apparently due to budgetary costs, they are not offering White House Tours to anyone.  But probably by this time, if those snipers on the roof have high frequency earpieces and can hear the tourists below, my face is plastered somewhere saying to not let me in.  I do not know what it is about that place that turns my mind into diabolical thinking.  Steph and I went to go sit by the White House while on route to supper one evening and sitting there, I was watching the security police patrol the grounds.  Then started wondering where the snipers were positioned.  Also wondering if the windows to the White House were bulletproof as there were no people pacing the windows.  I also thought it would have been uber cool of Obama to just step outside and give the fellow Americans a wave or too, but sadly he did not.  I do not even think they live there.  The White House is probably just a decoy or something like that and they live in some other place.  It made me wonder though if people took pictures of the Prime Ministers house or if people even know/care where he lives.  But, from far away, the security guards looked pretty hot. 

 

One thing on my to-do list for spring break that come hell or high water I was going to do was to get my Library of Congress Library Card - this was one of the top things on my to-do list when I first moved here and so, 7 months later, I can finally strike that off!!!  I got a little sidetracked along the way though - it was the Rock N'Roll Marathon that day and one of my fellow classmates, Kalyn, was running in it.  Now, admittedly, the thought never crossed my mind, but when I unintentionally found myself along the marathon route, I decided to do a good deed and cheer on Kalyn when she would pass me.  Problem with this nice thought was that I didn't know when she started, what she was wearing, how fast she runs, etc etc.  So then came my wonderful powers of deduction, stemming from what I knew about her - she is short, so any tall people I didn't have to look at.  There would have been a 75% chance that she wore sunglasses as she is that type of person and perhaps a hat.  Her hair would probably be in a bun or something like that (not loose) and probably not decked out in a ridiculous costume that some people were wearing.  Knowing all of that, it should have made it easy to spot her......not at all.  I stood there for 2 hours trying to spot her and I don't know if I ever did.  What I ended up doing was that when there were large groups coming up, and I knew I probably would have missed her face when scanning them, I just started yelling out "Go Kalyn!! You Rock Kalyn!!!!! just for the hope that she was in that group and could hear me.  This was my first marathon I have ever actually stood and watched and I felt in awe of them.  I think it was a half marathon (no clue what that really means) and for a slight moment I decided that I wanted to do one, but then I found myself in an internal fit of laughter as I hate running and that was probably one of the most foolish notions I have ever had.  Maybe if I could roller blade it I would think about it.  It was kind of inspiring to watch though. 

 

Only a month and a couple of weeks left in this semester.  Again, time is flying.  Which also means that school is going to start getting crazy hectic, along with all the practicum stuff that is going down, tea is going to be my best friend to get me through everything.  Oohh so in tribute of St. Paddy's Day, and my love for the Muppets, I will leave you with this youtube clip that my mom sent me.  It gave me good laughs so I hope it does the same for you.  Take care all!!! Happy St. Paddy's Day!!!!

My name is Greta Schmidt. I am an astronomer (not an astronaut). And did you know that Batman is Russian!!!!!!!

Well my whole idea of blogging after I do something is slowly going down the drain.  It really should not be too hard to sit down at the computer (which I am at all the time) and write about what I did, but yet it seems like it is something along the lines of training for a marathon (although that is something that I have never done, but in my head they are kind of the same).  I am too old to be changing up my procrastination routine I think.  But now I have to go back into my head and figure out what I did these past couple of weeks that I want to comment on.  Along with old age comes my inability to remember things.  Damn you old age!!! 

I have heard many wonderful things about the International Spy Museum (http://www.spymuseum.org/) and so I decided to head there.  Note to people:  this museum was chalk full of kids....I mean chalk full.  They were everywhere.  Under your feet, above your head, anything that was interactive they were doing.  And if you know me at all, you know I have somewhat limited patience for children, so this was not the most funnest place for me. Also, this museum was one that you could not take pictures at, which normally does not stop me but a) there were a crap load of security people walking around watching people and b) I was paranoid that since we were at a spy museum, they had workers there dressed like lay people who were actually trying to catch people using their cameras, so I rarely took a picture (I took one picture and then panicked about it, thinking I was going to get deported, or my camera taken away from me - both equally problematic in my eyes).  But seriously - in a place that you have to pay, one would think that pictures were accepted.  And really, come on, were they afraid we were going to steal important spy secrets?  I need to get those glasses that has a camera built into them so when I look at something, I can take a picture.  Then I would be totally good to go.  In the beginning, we got to this one room and had to pick an identity and maintain it throughout the museum.  My identity - Greta Schmidt.  I am 33, from Germany.  I am an astronomer and I am heading to London, England for business for 4 days.  I was born in Bornstedt, Germany.  I repeated this information over and over again and for no reason - during the entire time there, I did not have to use this information; nobody pulled me into a room and interrogated me (thankfully as I would have had a heartattack probably) and at the end, I did not get a prize for remembering my true identity.  Nothing.  Kind of disappointing.  It was here though that they had the emblems of the security service associations from around the world were posted in the "briefing room" and on the Russian one - it was the Batman symbol!!!!!  I knew it!!!! Actually I didn't as it never occurred to me that Batman is Russian.  Throughout the museum, there were things from CSIS which made me happy.  I just imagined Riya saying something like "Canada has a secret service agency? What for??'.   Over all though, there is a shitton of information to read and look at and very informative, but the kids......man they were annoying me. 

Another thing that I need to remember about myself is that when I feel like doing a touristy thing, I need to put aside the whole day and not have anything to do afterwards.  So, people, if you ever hear me discuss doing something touristy and then planning on getting some school done or something like that afterwards, smack me across the head via the interwebs.  I haven't seen the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception and it is right around my corner and with the way that the transit system was, I decided to do something close to me.  And, while there, I was going to hit Starbucks and get some studying done.  So - plan - hit the Basilica in the morning and then hit Starbucks in the afternoon for studying.  Sounds good, right? Not so much.  Get to the Basilica and holy crowballs it is amazingly gorgeous and wonderful and serene.  There is so much stuff to see and read - I think about 98 things to see and read and take in while there.  Yeah, I was not prepared for this.  When I go to a museum, I like to read and see everything so putting aside a couple of hours to get through this Basilica, not feasible at all.  I definitely have to go back and take it all in.   I also would love to go to a mass there - and I am thinking Good Friday would be a pretty spectacular one.  And I will have to say that I did not swear outloud while there - just in my head when a picture came out fuzzy.  I picked up some pamphlets while there and this one cracked me up:  How to Make a Good Confession.  Review your life with the help of some questions, which are based on the 10 Commandments.  The questions:

• do I pray to God every day? Have I thanked God for His gifts to me?
• did I take the name of God in vain? Did I curse or take a false oath?
• did I miss Mass on Sundays or holy days of obligation through my own fault? Am I attentive at Mass? Did I keep fast and abstinence on the prescribed days?
• did I get drunk?
• did I willfully look at pornography, entertain impure thoughts or engage in impure conversations or actions (sorry Ma and Papa for you finding out that I am not a virgin this way.....)? Did I use artificial means to prevent conception (sorry Ma and Papa for not providing you with grandchildren)?
• did I tell lies? Did I sin by calumny, or detraction, of others?
• have I envied other people?

I would be in that confession box for a very, very, very long time.  Abiding by all of those, in my eyes, would lead to a very dull life.  No swearing....come on......it is a perfectly acceptable way to express one's feelings.  If I ever become a counselor, I am going to encourage swearing.  Healthy.  Very healthy.  Anywho, I regress from the issue at hand.  Seeing as I didn't instantly burst into  flames heading into the Basilica, I think I am safe.  Maybe I should start going to church though to make sure when the unfortunate time of my demise comes, I am somewhat on the up-in-up on the good person list.  Does God look at Santa's list, cause if so, I should be fine.  Except for the fact that I call him a pedophile (Santa, that is) so probably am not on his good list anymore.  Crap.  Anywho, the place was amazing.  I am definitely going back to take it all in and experience everything and maybe cleanse the soul a little of stress and bad juju that may be in there. 

I am also learning a lot about my Canadianness in terms of Americanness.  First off, they do not call it toque's here.  I still do not know what they call them - caps, beanies, something like that.  Not toque's though.  Another thing, I say "zed"; they say "zee" down here.  I got pointed and laughed at when I said "zed".  I still speak Celsius and not sure about Fahrenheit for conversions.  I think I am missing another Canadian reference - oh, curling.  They call it 'is that the game with the brooms?'  And I am still thinking I am missing something.  It will come to me later. 

Hope everyone is doing wonderful, keeping safe and healthy and happy.  Miss you all and love you lots!!!! And thanks Ma for the kick-ass birthday toque - I LOVE IT!!!!

You know how you go into a public rest room and the integrity of every stall has been compromised so you have to pick the least disgusting one? That's how I feel about dating......

So Kalyn and I decided to go on an adventure into the unknown realm of speed dating, and I am talking about the epically classic girl-sits-down-and-boy-changes-tables-every-five-minutes scenario. We did a little hunting, found a business in the city that does this and signed up for the event.  How it works is that you go to the event, meet with some guys (in this case I met 20 different guys) and after 4 minutes, they change tables.  After the event, the people email you a link where you go on and say if you are interested in a guy or not and if you are, and the guy is interested in you, the company will tell you and you go from there.  The venue was actually pretty nice - we were in our own little room in a restaurant and it had a relaxing atmosphere to it.  We met a little bit ahead of time to have a drink or two for some liquid courage, got our name tags and sheet to write down names and information and then sat at our tables and waited for the shitshow to begin. 

First off, 4 minutes can seem like forever or like 30 seconds, depending on the person.  However, I think that somewhere along the lines, they started speeding up the 4 minutes as I was not the only one thinking they were going faster, and not in a "connected" sense.  Right when you were getting into the good part of the conversation, the bell would ring.  A couple of guys actually lingered to keep talking, which kind of felt nice hahaha.  Some guys were big into the high-five's - there was one guy that I kind of watched and he would high-five the girl almost every time.  I got a high-five from him, I can't remember what I said to illicit it from him.  I learnt that in that type of environment, there is no room for shyness or it is awkward to sit there in 4 minutes of silence or forced conversation, but also arrogance can dominate easily in 4 minutes.  Eye contact was kind of interesting to observe - I was wearing a top where you couldn't see my cleavage, I was quite well covered up, but I still saw guys looking down at my breasts.  Some would maintain eye contact and never break it, others would not keep it at all.  And the questions - I was trying to come up with unique, out of the ordinary questions to ask as I mean, come on, meeting over 20 people, repetitive questions are going to be the death of people.  Sadly, most of these men were not that creative.  I think almost every guy asked me "where are you from?" and "what do you like to do for fun?" and with only having 4 minutes, that is the conversation.  I would try to ask the first question, something like 'what adjective would you use to describe yourself' or 'are you a sports fan'.  Something out of the box.  One person said he heard a hint of a Canadian accent, after learning that I was from Canada.  And I would highly suggest for anyone thinking of doing this, do not drink 2 pots of tea beforehand because if you do have a break inbetween boys, 4 minutes (or their version of 4 minutes) is not long enough to get to the bathroom and back refreshed.....just a head's up........So, come along the ride with me as I describe some of the people I met during my night of speed dating - all of their names have been changed for anonymity sake. 

First up, and what a way to start the evening off, was Accent Boy.  I asked him where he was from and he got me to guess, and I guessed Scotland.  He said I was right, but that he could also do an Australian and an American accent.  He has the ability to change it whenever he wants to.  Right.  Made me think of Frank Abagnale Jr. which is not a good thought when trying to select a potential mate for a relationship. 

Then came Sigh Boy.  I think in the 4 minutes were were talking, he sighed about, oh, 17 times, at least that is how many ticks I marked down.  He was late because 10th street was closed and he had to go all the way around (when I asked him about just hopping over the barricade and walking down the street, he looked at me like I asked him about shooting a room full of grandma's or something) and then he wasn't even going to make it to the event because he just wasn't feeling into it but then he thought he should . . . I started playing Mahna Mahna in my head by this time.  This is why I do not want to counsel people.....hahaha. 

Oohhh next up is Porsche Guy.  Now, admittedly, Kalyn and I saw him when he first came into the room to sign up and then watched him go to his car - a Porsche.  He was probably the hottest guy we saw there as of yet, so we were pretty excited.  Up close and personal, however, not so much.  It was disappointing.  Thankfully I could hold a conversation with him around the book called The Game by Neil Strauss (http://www.amazon.ca/The-Game-Neil-Strauss/dp/0060554738).  And he snowboarded, so he actually enjoys being around snow.  But he seemed like he was trying way too hard to look, act and be cool. 

 

Suit Boy sits down and just looks at me, so I start the conversation, asking how his day has been going. He was very hard to talk with and very serious. And would just stare at me. Almost like 'impress me. You aren't impressing me'. 

 

Question Boy soon got to my table.  I was watching him while he was going around the tables as there wasn't enough men to women so every once in a while, I would have no boy at my table and I would be able to people and behavior watch, and this boy, he was quite fun to watch and converse with.  It was like he had a list of questions he had to get out in those 4 minutes - he would start to ask a question and when I would respond, even before I had finished my answer, he was onto the next one.  And questions like 'are you close to your family' 'what are your ambitions' 'what is your favorite color'.  They were crazy. 

Marriage Boy was quite funny - I am still on the ropes with him as he may be a little too intense for me, but maybe it was nerves.  I don't know.  He asked me how I would describe myself, so I used my never failing, usually conversation invoking answer of Fearless.  He liked it.  He then told me to go more into it, and I quoted him Dr. Suess.  He also liked that (in fact, he said he was going to google the quote - not sure if he believed me or wanted to verify it, I don't know).  He then proceeded to tell me that I was the coolest chick he met there.  Score one for me.  So then I ask him what his word would be, and he says honourable.  As in 'when I look you in the eye and shake your hand, I will do what I said I would do'.  He is driven, knows what he wants, is ready to settle down, he *is* 28 after all and has all his shit in order.  That's when the marriage mentality started to show its colors I think. 

The last guy was probably the best.  "Triple Threat" boy.  I was kind of hoping he wouldn't want to sit down as the event was done, but he had wanted to meet all the women there, so when he asked if he could talk, I did not want to say no.  I should have said no.  All this guy wanted to do was talk about his accomplishments - he was in a movie (he never told me the name of it), he is an artist and likes collecting pieces and he is a wonderful cook.  So, his ambitions - to be in more movies and become famous and get "Emmys" (I didn't correct him that Emmys weren't for movies), he wanted to open his own art gallery with his own pieces in it and open a restaurant that will be filled with reservations for months on end.  He dubbed himself a "triple threat".  Does he have a ambitions and dreams? Absolutely!!!  Did it attract me? Not at all.

Out of the evening there were a couple of good ones that sat down.  There was one who used to live in Memphis and when he saw my Elvis purse, well that dictated the conversation for the most part.  He is also a lawyer, so when I told him I used to be a legal assistant, he apologized for all the rude and mean lawyers I ever had to work with hahaha.  Then another guy who liked sports and penguins.  Another one who was in psychology as well and just seemed so sweet and young in a way.   Probably out of the 20 there, I will say that I would be interested in about 4 or 5 of them.  The rest were not my type at all.  However, I will probably go to another one because it is fun and exciting and something different to do.  Who knows, maybe one time I will meet a guy who likes going to the zoo, can cook, will listen to me talk about my school and watch Disney movies with me and knows how to country dance and is taller than me and doesn't smoke and has a job, a car and lives close to me and is happy with life........buuuuuuuut I am not holding my breath. 

What would your story be?

A song that is perfect for this theme for your listening pleasure:  song got famous after being aired on Grey's Anatomy Be warned - this blog is more on the pensive/serious side of the spectrum.  Maybe my old age is finally catching up to me........hahaha

So, for school, instead of writing a huge exam or having to do a dissertation/paper/thesis, we need to do work experience, which is awesome because it is hands on and is exactly what I want to do, but I never thought of the process of obtaining that experience.  When I went for my Legal Assistant Diploma, we had to do a practicum but I don't remember the process being this stressful or intense.  I was "cleared" to send out my resume to nine different practicum sites and each one needed its own cover letter.  I tell ya, I wanted to smash my head through a glass window every time I sat down to write one of those.  In one paragraph, I had to somehow tell the company about my experience and how I would benefit that company - what I would do for them.  I am not that good at talking myself up to begin with and to do it in one paragraph is freaking intense and stressful.  I wish I could have just written in the letter that I have experience working with difficult people, I can portray professionalism and I will benefit your company by just being myself as that tends to work just fine.  Oh quote Pooh as he seems to have the answer for everything.  It got me thinking though about myself, who I was, what I was doing, stuff like that.  Although this will sound very morbid, if you had to right your own eulogy, what would it say?  What would you want people to know about you? 

Kalyn and I went to the Portrait Gallery on the weekend and it was kind of funny as there was an exhibit of Ben Durham who does text portraits.  He got mug shots of childhood friends and their arrest records and drew a picture from text, a recounting of everything he could remember or have been told about that person.  They were really interesting (the picture is a picture of the painting that is made out of words).  When you got up close and personal to the picture, you could see the writing - lots of it wasn't legible but you could see letters and words.  It was such a unique was of creating a picture that it got me thinking again about a person's story and what makes up their past and present.  There was another exhibit where the paintings were based off of automythography, which is the process of identity formation that combines the real with the self-invented.  So here is another question for you to ponder - what would be your version of automythography? What would it look like? 

 

On a brighter note, instead of doing something American, I had an Indian experience.  The group of us girls went to an Indian Restaurant called Zaika and man it was so good.  Thankfully we had Riya (we probably would not have been there if she did not come to begin with since she spearheaded the outing) to order the food and get us the VIP treatment.  We had Aloo Papdi Chaat and Vegetable Samosas for appetizers, Chicken Tikka Masala, Paneer Makhani and Naan for entrees and Mango Kulfi and Kheer for dessert.  Such good food.  Definitely going back there again.  The waiters made sure we were always doing good, the manager kept coming by our table and even the owner came over to make sure we were doing good.  Beyond great service and food.  A very wonderful experience and outing with the girls. 

Got booked for criminal mischief, found out that I wasn't a Missing or Exploited Child and watched Harry Potter play basketball

Oohhh look - I am actually writing something after I have done it!!! New Years Resolution in effect!!! Hahaha.  So to commemorate this occasion, and to go with the theme of the Crime and Punishment Museum, here is a wonderful song for you:  get those hips swivelling

First up is our trip to the Crime and Punishment Museum.  Sadly, this is a museum that you actually have to pay for (all the other ones I have gone to and will go are free) but we got our tickets through Groupon so they were cheaper than usual, which rocks.  This was probably by far one of my favorite museums so far as it just rocked.  The exhibits, the information, the hands on things, so much fun.  And I mean, its crime and punishment - how much more fascinating can you get.  Especially when one makes a fool out of themselves like I did.  Surprise surprise there hahaha.  So when you first get to the museum, there is this really creepy looking wax figurine of a guy being held up by shackles and whatnot.  Now, if you know me, my imagination goes bonkers, especially around things like this because I imagine a hand moving, a head turning, something on that wax figurine moving and scaring the living bejesus outta me.  Thankfully, this wax dude did not move, but it still played on my mind.  The first part of the museum is old school punishment, like the Shrew's Violin, Finger screws, head cage, things like that.  I would not have lasted back in those days oh my goodness.  There was one sign that said "in most colonies it was against the law to swear, be caught in a state of public drunkenness, not attend church services, inappropriate behavior on the Sabbath, and unacceptable conduct between members of the opposite sex".  Well I am fucked.  Hahaha.  And you did not want a person who had no concept of paying attention dishing out some of the punishments with things like the Baker's Baptism, which happened when the baker's bread did not weigh enough - the baker would be dunked in the central fountain in a cage-type device until the punishment administer thought that the baker was out of breath.  There was no standard amount of time - it was left up to the person operating the device.  That sucks.  I wonder if they could interview potential punishment administers......

 

So then after the old school punishment, we move onto the Wild West.  Things like Jesse James, Billy the Kid, Wyatt Earp, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.  The good stuff.  Lots of guns.  Oh, watching Riya and Kalyn shoot the guns at the old west saloon was pretty funny - they need to come out to the farm and practice on some gophers hahaha.  There was a picture of a real hanging where the guy's head like snapped off from the force of the hanging - how cool is that??? I just kept thinking back to the movies like Tombstone, Young Guns, American Outlaws.  I still think I was born in the wrong era - to be one of the saloon girls would have been a kick ass job - I wouldn't have minded wearing the dresses they wore as they were quite sexy and purty.  And then when they break out into an occasional song and dance number, how can that be topped (ie The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas style).  If you don't know what I am talking about, check out this clip:  how could life get any better than this?? I think this is where I make a fool out of myself (no, not by showing you that clip, but at the museum).  So we are standing around, looking at things from the era of Bonnie and Clyde, Pretty Boy Floyd, Ma Barker, the likes of them folks, and we are talking about the show The Following, telling Riya how much it was pretty good and that it didn't scare me so she should be able to watch it.  Well, at that moment, I just turn to look beside me and there is this guy standing there, reading something, but looking awfully still, like wax figurine still, and he seemed to appear out of nowhere.  What do I do? I scream and jump.  Have a heart attack.  Laugh till I cry.  Those types of things.  I don't know what it was that made me so scared of seeing him but I just thought he was fake and came outta nowhere.  The funny thing is that he didn't even acknowledge it so I wonder if it happens to him a lot.........Riya and Kalyn were laughing their heads off about it every time they saw the guy though.  Glad I can amuse them.  It would have also been pretty cool to live back in the era with Bugsy Siegal and the Flapper Girls.  I would have made a kick ass flapper girl, except they were so classy looking.  I don't have that classy look to me.  More saloon type of a look for me I think.  I don't think flapper girls were as chesty as I am. 

Then we get to the good part - the serial killers part, the assassinations, things like that.  The likes of Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, The Unibomber.  Sadly, that part of the museum wasn't as big as the other exhibits, but it was still exciting to see.  I would have loved to be one of the people who were around us when we were in that part of the museum as we would talk about the different killing methods or what each person did, their signature, etc etc.  I can tell you this though - John Wayne Gacy's fascination with clowns, that should have been an indicator right then and there for people.  Clowns are creepy, end of discussion. 

 

We get to the booking process part of the museum and now that I think about it, I shouldn't have been "booked" for criminal mischief as it was probably a ploy on the governments part to get our fingerprint (you scan a fingerprint and it prints off a "fingerprint record" of what one supposably gets booked for).  I scanned as criminal mischief.  Riya got prostitution.  Kalyn got kidnapper.  I got the boring one.  But I will say this - the mug shot of Frank Sinatra.....ohhhh weeee he was a looker.  Even in his mug shot.  Saw a representation of Al Capone's jail cell - that guy lived in style, both in and out of prison.  And, if anybody wants to know, I got the procedures on how to properly hang a person, participate in a firing squad, pull the switch on the electric chair, subject someone to the gas chamber and lethally inject a person.  Oh the knowledge one gains from the museum!!!!  Learnt that I cannot make the police force as I cannot do 2 pullups (pathetic, I know, but I blame the weight of the boobs).  But Riya and I did participate in a swat training exercise - I took down two perps (thats the short term for perpetrators in case you didn't know). The CSI lab was pretty cool but it was almost too sciency for my likings, but I kicked ass at fingerprint analysis, comparing bullets as well as dental comparisons.  The final part was the set of America's Most Wanted and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, which I learnt that none of us were part of.  Which is a good thing since a) I never grew up in the States so I shouldn't have been there and b) if I was in that database, one would have thought that going through customs something should have showed up, saying I was missing or exploited......but no, they were more worried about me going to school down here.....hahaha.  Overall, the museum was kick ass.  I would definitely go back in a heartbeat as there is so much stuff to read and take in for everything that is there. 

 

After the Museum, we headed off to a Washington Wizards v. Chicago Bulls game:  Michael Jordan's acting debut.......  None of us who went were hardcore basketball fans; I had a very short lived basketball career - I hated the unfair calls and kept getting fouled out and whatnot but watching the game made me remember playing it and hating it hahaha.  I am pretty sure my teammates liked it when I decided to quit halfway through the season (more like the coach basically said that the sport was not for me).  Who knew I disliked unfair calls and had a predisposition of getting back at people...... If it rained, we would have been the first to know as our backs were against the wall and our heads were hitting the roof.  They were still pretty decent seats though in the long run.  And cheap.  Even better.  Riya was hilarious as the only thing she could think of was Harry Potter, seeing as he was a wizard, the Washington team is called the Wizards....you see the connection.  So every time something exciting happened (which, in basketball means really nothing), she would shout out a characters name from Harry Potter.  The one time she yelled out Hermonie Granger......I told her that calling the players a girls name, not a good thing hahaha. 

During halftime we got to watch the chinese version of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.  The sad thing is that Kalyn and I were singing along with the theme song.....The Wizards ended up winning the game (woohoo) but I don't know what that means in the grand scheme of things for them hahaha.  I can now knock off going to an NBA game off the to-do list, although I don't think it was ever really on the list to begin with.  Not sure what is next on the to-see list, but stay tuned for it.